1st Mother's Day

My first Mother's day!!

Last year, on Mother's day, I was 5 months pregnant and we had just found out we were having a little boy. That mother's day was special, in the fact that I was a mother at that point. But I didn't know how much I would truly appreciate being a mother until I saw my little boy.

This year, Mother's day was much different, and also a lot more different than I expected it to be. Kayden was diagnosed with croup on Thursday. He really wasn't having any problems with it though, until Saturday night. We were up all.night.long. Literally. At 5 in the morning, it was then that I realized that this was what Mother's day was all about. Taking care of your sick little boy all night long. Because you love him. Because you are his mother.

While I greatly miss my sleep. I wouldn't change anything in the world. I love this little boy more than words could explain. Every thought, every decision... all revolves around him. It's all about him.

Mother's Day also brought on new changes for myself. Since the day he was born I have spent every day with this boy. I have absolutely loved staying at home with him and taking care of him. I love it. I wish I could do it forever. But, the reality is that I can't. Not this time around. I knew this day was coming.... I just didn't realize how quickly the day was approaching. I got my first call for an interview Mother's Day night. I thought that it would be a big change for me to go from school/work to staying at home. But it wasn't. It was normal to me, natural, what I knew I would always do. Going to work from staying at home with this little boy for a year. THAT'S going to be an adjustment. A HARD ONE. One that I really don't want to think about anymore. There are going to be tears. There have already been tears and it's still 3 months away... as long as I get a job. But it's all for him. Even going to work, will be all for him. For him to have a better life. That's what he deserves. That's what mothers are for :)